Putting down the Stone
I have been exploring a few ideas this year and they have all grown out of one main need; to heal limiting and dysfunctional beliefs handed down to me through my ancestral line. This has not come from a place of judgement or anger, just a desire to move on and put down the cross that we are all bearing in some way.
For me, judgement is the key issue here and I feel the need to point out that most of our reasons for trying to make this world a better place are still coming from a place of judgement. This needs to stop if we are really going to move forward into a new, open and compassionate way of working. Mostly we need to begin to be honest with ourselves. If we are constantly pointing the finger at other people and saying, ‘It’s because of you that this world is a bad place,’ then we are clearly misguided. That is step one.
This blog has taken its time to come to fruition and this has not been helped by the fasting turning of events throughout the year. Every time I think I have come to a place of knowing what I want to say, the world moves on. The last month has particularly highlighted this as the battle of the classes has turned into a battle of the sexes. This has brought me to place of wanting to retreat completely. As I see the hunger for judgement and retribution reach great heights I began to feel that what ever I wish to add would simply be fuelling the fire.
With this in mind I will try to be brief, the detail to be found in my books and plays.
My sense is that we are being dragged into a small version of the story and forgetting to see the bigger picture. If we are to truly heal as a race or at least as a community then we need to recognise that the story we are playing out in our lives is just a mirror of what we are within. We must look to ourselves to see what conflict lies there before we cast any stones.
I believe this is something we have forgotten and the fear and anger that we feel inside creates a blindness for both men and woman alike. Although it is impossible to understand the whole story, as it is far too complex, what is far more important is to know that we are all part of it, we are all part of the problem and the solution all at once. To step aside and take the stone out of our hand takes courage but I believe is crucial for a way out of this growing crisis in our society today. To continue throwing stones, however wrong those that have done wrong seem, will not solve the problem. I am not saying we should stand back and do nothing, i just feel it is important to act prudently rather than over react.
Those who commit anti-social acts do not behave that way in a vacuum. Everyone has a story and this is where compassion is needed and an ability to see the whole of society’s story not just the parts. The last hundred years has been such a whirlwind of change, two world wars that created extreme repression of emotions and other events, such as women’s right to vote and the pill, that offered great emancipation. No wonder the road has been filled with pitfalls. When people behave badly it is important to recognise that they are just showing us the effect of what our whole society has created when it doesn’t consider its actions fully. When we see its effect, rather than raising our fists in anger and desire for revenge, we should be looking at the causes and what we can do to change from the root up. When we choose to judge we put ourselves in a very vulnerable position making the conflict within cut even deeper, as judging becomes part of the problem.
Now, times have become so hard for so many, fear and anger is understandably never far from the surface and this often creates a desire to justify our own story and a need to blame others. If we are aware that these feelings really all stem from the conflict we carry within, often handed down by our lineage, then we must recognise how this plays out in any relationship. If we believe that one person is to blame and the other blameless this becomes part of the misconception we constantly are living in. This can be seen across warring nations, communities and families. If you want change in your life, as Gandhi said, ‘be the change’. It is the only way forward and if you feel you are not part of the issue then think again.
We all bring emotional baggage into our life, it is part of our inheritance on a personal, national and international level. The moment we except this, is the moment that change will start for real, not in our courts but on the streets, across our towns, cities and countries.
It is time, surely to find a new approach. Force, judgement and legislation are all methods that have fallen short of the mark. It is time to listen, understand and communicate in a new way where everyone has a voice and we all understand that we have played a part in making the story what it is today. We need to be compassionate without exception for we all need bringing in from the dark.
There is a place,
Beyond right and wrong
I’ll meet you there (Rumi)