Climbing the Highest Mountain

Happy New Year! And what a year this could be. I believe the choice is ours. 

As we hit the darkest part of winter when the days seem so short and dark, we will need to dig deep to keep faith and optimism alive, which may be buried well below the surface.

This is a tough month in so many ways but it is about celebrating the return of the light and it can always be found in the core of our being and in our hearts where the light is never extinguished.

The archetype we can look to at this time of year is Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, our teacher, guide and limiter. He teaches us the hard lesson, that though the mountain we have to climb may be high and tortuous, it will always be worth it. Though we may be brought to our knees, if we remember to take each lesson one at a time and find joy in the learning then, when we reach the top of the mountain, we will literally save our soul. 

This is the saviour’s birth for many northern hemisphere faiths. The sun stands still at the Solstice for three days and on the next, the 25th of December, the sun appears to turn around and begins its journey northwards; the return of the light.

At this part of our journey we reach our mid heaven, which turns our eyes, literally,  to the heavens, to reach for our highest goals, our life purpose. This is something we can look at on a personal level or at a cultural one.

Personally, this is a question I am constantly asking, ‘what am I here for, what is my divine purpose?’ In 2010 I arrived at Glastonbury Festival for the first time in 10 years having been invited to work in the Peace Dome, a 24 hour meditation space, with my harp. This felt like a huge gift. I had brought with me Neale Donald Walsh’s Conversations with God. My worry was that I was trying out so many new things, I felt I was losing site of my path. Within the first few pages my question was answered. It said that God doesn’t mind what you do as long as you do it with love. 

This was wonderful, I knew that was something I was constantly striving for and that I felt I was hopefully still on track.

9 years later, still expanding my ideas and trying out new things, I attended a course where it was explained to us that we are all here for a specific reason. It was iterated very clearly that it doesn’t matter if you come here and do a hundred things, even if all of them are good, if none of them are what you came here to do then, it is as if you have done nothing. 

I felt bereft, like my understanding of this matter had been turned upside down. I had to simply sit with this dilemma for a while till a resolution came.

As 2019 came to a close my search came to an end. First, I was reminded of the Einstein quote No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. Then an explanation was offered to me (by Daniel Schmachtenberger, a progressive scholar of our time)  by way of an analogy, of two shapes/ideas; a rectangle and a circle, seemingly, completely opposing structures. One has sides and corners, the other just curved lines. You might assume there could be nowhere to find a compromise or even similarities. However if we rise above the level of consciousness, out of the two dimensions, into a three dimensional view, we find a cylinder is a perfect solution. A cylinder, if you look from above, has four sides like a rectangle, and from the side view, you see a circle. It holds both states together without  compromise.  

Our cultures contains many such opposing beliefs. We are a people uprooted from the universal flow of life and many of us find ourselves feeling lost and disconnected, like a flower pulled out of the ground expected to stay alive in a vase of water on a dining room table. We can see this metaphor, as a society, as we deforest great areas of our world almost as if we are creating the world in our own image. We expect struggling communities across the world to stop growing food for themselves so they can use all their water to grow flowers for our tables at home. Does this really help us to feel good about our lives?

No wonder very few people feel in place where they can have an inner sense (innocence? One of the many words in our language lessened by our disconnection) of their own purpose. Most people hate their jobs or think their jobs are worthless these days. How can we turn this around and find a way to ensure people have a real sense of self worth, ensuring people find joy in the gifts they bring to their own life and what they bring to society.

For me, I had to bring these two dichotomies, of working out what my purpose was, together. Was it one specific thing, or simply a way of being? I didn’t know what my divine purpose was so I decided just to follow the one I was comfortable with, making sure everything I did came from a place of love, then hope the other might follow. Soon enough I found I was not only working from a place of love but knowing exactly what I was meant to be doing with it. 

I have to admit that now I know what my purpose is, doesn’t mean I know how to fulfil it. But what also came was an understanding that not knowing can be a gift too. The idea is to slow the busy mind from trying to control and know the answers to everything. In the not knowing, there is space for ideas and ways forward, beyond the limits of our own knowledge, to slip into our minds. This was one of the greatest gifts I have received; being able to say ‘I don’t know.’

If we can gradually find our way as individuals, we may find it is catching and soon we will see it more in our culture as a whole.
Bring on the beautiful evolution that that is within our grasp and is our divine purpose.